December 15

Today in English class Herr Lazarow told us about the social experiment that he is conducting on our class. We, the figurative lab rats, are participants in a mock witch hunt. There is one student who is confidentially a witch and we must discover this individual. To do this we are assigned a series of rules that we must follow. They are:
1.We must discuss Penn State football in conversation
2.We must not place water bottles on our desk
3.We must wear mismatched socks
4.We cannot discuss Harry Potter
5.We must wear college/MHS gear
6.We cannot wear green
7.We must use Pencils
8.We must correct grammar errors
9.We must carry one book outside our backpack + an additional (unassigned) reading book
10.We must participate more in all classes
11.We must make direct eye contact
12.We cannot use filler in conversation (e.g. uhh, uhm, like, basically, you know, etc.)
13.We must address our fellows in the German Frau/Herr with the last name
14.The backpack must be placed to the left of the desk.
15.We must wear flair.

We are also to carry a journal detailing any abnormal behavior on the students part, and developing a theory on the identity of the witch. Over the weekend we will be assigned an essay on who we believe is the witch.

Today we were also treated to a picture of the student in Africa who needs $500 to stay in college.

- Alexander Altaras